Clearing My Head

Yesterday was Tuesday, which for those of you that don't know means grocery shopping day for Mike + I, so after he gets off work around 4:30 I drive to the base to meet him in order to knock out the shopping list faster.

I had gotten home a little early from my morning job so I laid down for a bit to try and sleep (Mike and I didn't get a lot of sleep the previous night due to us raiding, ugh) because we were going to be raiding again that night. However, my neck and left shoulder have been killing me so after giving up trying to get comfortable and nearly crying from how bad it hurt i just gave up, got up and drove to the base.

Due to my shoulder bothering me I was already in a bad mood and it seems every little thing was bugging me once we started shopping, his normal "I don't care, or doesn't matter to me" when I would ask what he wanted for lunches or what he wanted for dinner. Those responses drive me crazy and being in a bad mood just made it so much worse.

Once we finished grocery shopping I started dinner while he put away the grocery's, cooking dinner with one arm/hand is rather difficult... never really tried to before lol. So after making a couple messes, using way more pots and putting much more effort into dinner then I wanted to I was now in an even WORSE mood cause my shoulder was killing me. So I'm getting more grouchy and snitty and I'm pissed cause Mikes making a mess and dripping hot dog juice on the floor and cutting the hotdog pieces way to big and just EVERYTHING was bothering me so I snapped and said some catty things I know I shouldn't have and it turned into a 5 minute fight which led to us slamming stuff, ignoring one another, not talking over dinner and so on.

Well lets just say the evening finally got better (I hate that WoW is the only thing that cheers my husband up) and we went to bed around 11:30. Around 12:45-1am My should started throbbing and I couldn't sleep cause of it so I moved to the sofa, at home point Mike wakes up and realizes I'm not in bed and comes out looking for me only to find me asleep on the sofa, instead of leaving me alone and waiting till morning to find out what was wrong he wakes me up, I think I said something about my shoulder hurting and fell back asleep cause the conversation was very short. So when I wake up today (right now) Mike is in a terrible mood cause he didn't sleep well (because I wasn't in bed) and I'm trying to be helpful and seems everything I try to do to help only makes it worse...I'm sorry my shoulder hurt and I couldn't sleep so I moved to the sofa so I would feel better? Or I'm sorry I didn't just deal with it in order for you to sleep well?? Really wish we had couples counseling today... I think I might print out my blog posts that way I remember things that have happened since our last appointment...ugh, I ALMOST wish he had deployed so we could have spent some time apart... maybe things would have been easier that way.

I Seriously Need a Moment

So really this is a nothing post that I feel like I just need to write in order to vent properly, idk sooooo here we go.

So for starters... Mike and I have tried SO hard to keep the carpet in our apartment spotless, however two dogs, a cat, bunches of his male friends and A LOT of spilled candle wax later and we are pretty much F***ed. So this means that we may not be moving into a house come next July, the apartment complex after 5 years trashes the old carpet and replaces it for free.... so if we can stay in this apartment for at least another year we won't have to pay a huge amount of money for this carpet to be fixed. This is a small problem on my mind not huge.

Second thing... Christmas.... now most people LOVE Christmas and the holidays and baking and so on and so on... not me. I don't because it reminds me that i'm a SERVER and have to work almost every holiday which means, once again, I will not be spending Christmas Eve, New Years Eve, or Halloween with my husband... nice. On top of this the in-laws are coming (actually looking forward to that but that's just more stress) and I STILL haven't heard weather or not MY parents are coming... *pulls out hair*.

Third, couples counseling is going well for Mike and I but I still feel like things aren't 100% back to normal... I wonder some days if there will ever be a 'normal' again...at least like it used to be? I'm thinking about taking up my own counselor in order to deal with my feelings separately as well as with Mike... I think it might be more helpful.

Next, is work....HATE my job, HATE my co-workers and HATE OB!!!! SO ready to be outta that place...

Another thing, Mikes orders expire next July so there is a possibility that he might get NEW orders elsewhere... that would be great, we could leave this little town (there is nothing to do here!! But that's the next paragraph) and finally (maybe) move to an actual city. However, this means I can't start school yet.. there is no point. Even if I start my vet degree online if I can't finish my clinical hours before July of next year there is the possibility of moving and having to start all over again, what would the point in that be??

Now to continue on what i mentioned above, there is nothing to do here... at ALL!! One of Mike and my friends got arrested for drag racing and spent most of the night in jail (till he got bailed) and the other for a stripe taken away because of the event... another friend of ours thought it a good idea to get food after he had had a few drinks after party hopping and made the decision to drive to get food (cause there is never anyone on the roads that late) and ended up with a DUI..... THEN Mike and I were out for a ride with a local sports-bike club and ran into a road block in the small town of Buffalo gap.... the local cops pulled about 15 of us over for a 'noise complaint, reckless driving, and causing a nuisance'. No one got arrested and no on got tickets, all got warnings... however this leads me to my point.... there is NOTHING to do which seems to be leading to people getting in trouble with the law or making dumb/bad decisions based solely out of boredom and sheer lack of things to do to keep us occupied. Any ideas on law abiding, safe and non reckless things to do?

Oh and one last thing before I stop ranting... Mike and I would like to start thinking/prepping for kids... however until I have my degree I don't think it the best idea, but I can't get my degree until I'm sure we aren't moving in July, and I can't be fully sure we aren't moving in July and I know we can't till we have a larger place to live like a house or town home, which we can't do yet because of the carpet.... its like this revolving door effect.... which came first the chicken or the egg?? idk what to do or where to start... I'm so stressed out these days with my two jobs and the house always looking like a bomb went off....and i seem to be unable to find the motivation to clean on my ONE day off from both jobs because I'm normally just to freakin tired or want to spend a small amount of time with my husband...

What to do, what to do...

Holiday Season Again!

It's starting to actually feel like fall outside (a little). The weather recently in Abilene, TX has hovered in the 70's-mid-80's over the last two weeks and has been an amazing change of scenery. The normal temp is mid 90's but due to a freak cold front we have had some wonderfully cool days, thank goodness for that.

Few days ago I went out and picked up some art supply's and made a fall wreath, my mother and sister would be so proud. It actually turned out looking really nice (considering I didn't have a hot glue gun to use and had to substitute using super glue, I think I did rather well) considering that all supplies included I made the wreath for under $10, I feel like I did a pretty darn good job.

Today I am making O'Henry Bars, Tuxedo brownies, Sugar Cookies and maybe something else... haven't quite decided yet. I am in a cooking mood today for whatever reason, I think it's the cool weather and and realizing its mid October that's putting me in the 'holiday mood'.

This is the wreath that I made (for under $10) without any hot glue (PAIN!!)... just super glue, a little floral tape and some luck!!!

My amazing (made from scratch) Tuxedo Brownies! I added my own personal touch by chopping up chocolate chips  and sprinkling the shavings over the tops, sooo yummy. Can't wait to make more of these, I think I might make some mini ones for Halloween!